Benelli Forum banner
1 - 12 of 12 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
736 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Please read the appeal below:

EARTHQUAKE APPEAL


A major earthquake measuring 4.8 on the Richter scale hit Kent with its epicentre in Folkestone.

Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering "Faaackinell".

The earthquake decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of damage.

Several priceless collections of mementos from Majorca and the Costa del Sol were damaged beyond repair.

Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken well before their giros arrived. Invicta FM reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting had happened in Folkestone.

One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said, "It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom crying.
My youngest two, Tyler-Morgan and Victoria-Storm slept through it all. I was still shaking when I was skinning up and watching Trisha the next morning."

Apparently looting, muggings and car crime were unaffected and carried on as normal.

The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos and Bone China from Poundland.

HOW CAN YOU HELP?

This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most sought after - items most needed include:


Fila or Burberry baseball caps
Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
Shell suits (female)
White sport socks
Rockport boots
Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.

Required foodstuffs include:

Microwave meals, Tins of baked beans, Ice cream, Cans of White Lightning or Special Brew. 22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms.

£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9.
£5 buys B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.

**Breaking news**

Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop. 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," CHERITON " said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?


Please don't forward this to anyone living in Kent- oh, sod it, they won't be able to read it, anyway.
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
7,781 Posts
Nice one Dave.

I'm sure I know someone that stays down that neck of the woods. Oh, I remember him now, his name is
.............................................................................................................................................................Lloyd :rolling:
 

·
Senior Post Whore
Joined
·
2,931 Posts
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in raspberry alco-pop. 'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked," CHERITON " said the girl, "woss that gotta do wiv you?
I love that little line:rolling: Made me giggle (in a manly way of course;))

Al (One step closer to nirvana:))
 

·
Senior Member
Joined
·
903 Posts
Nice one Dave.

I'm sure I know someone that stays down that neck of the woods. Oh, I remember him now, his name is
.............................................................................................................................................................Lloyd :rolling:

FACK ORFFFFFFF MATE OR I'LL AVE YA!!!! :rolling: :rolling: :rolling:
 

·
Super Moderator
Joined
·
7,781 Posts
Somadoc, you'll learn very quickly that we all have a sarcastic go at one another on this Forum from time to time (read 'all the time') but it's never meant to be taken too seriously (if it's taken at all)

Keep posting and we'll soon have you slagging off everyone else like a good'un before you know it :rolling:(in a good humored sort of way)
See Somadoc, this was the kind natured banter that I was taking about..............we're all great mates here. :rolling:

Hey Lloyd, how come you had to edit that post? Did you spell something wrong? :doh:
 

·
Senior Member
Joined
·
903 Posts
Miss spealt!

Na I changed the font size as I thought that what with your failing eysight an all I would make it easier for you to read!:rolling: :rolling: :rolling:
 

·
president
Joined
·
1,009 Posts
benelli kent division fights back

i dunt know about you lloyd and colin but i dont think we should let posh people from leafy surrey take the piss out of us..........just coz we cant read or write or form a sentence without saying right or faacinhelll ..........doesnt make us bad people..................i have a lovely collection of plastic spanish dolls and would be more than happy to sell them at a reasonable cost to any chavs who lost their possesions in the earthquake...........

:ele: :ele: :ele: :ele: :ele: :ele: :ele: :ele: :ele: :ele:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
105 Posts
:D SUPERB DAVE!:D
I forwarded it to my mate who's just moved back down to Sheerness from Scotland-he's been in the pub ever since:clap:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,211 Posts
Hi Nige

I am just gonna check out your photo gallery - I hope there are more pics like your avatar in there ! :bow:

You need a good excuse for not being around much lately !!!!!!!!!! :rolling:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
105 Posts
Avatar

:) It fekin moves on my pc but she's as dead as a dodo on the forum:mad:
Good thinkin batman-i'll stick her in mi album:clap:
 
1 - 12 of 12 Posts
Top