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At the 2004 World Womans conference the first speaker from Canada stood up:
"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb. "

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from England stood up:
"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had not only done his own washing but my washing as well. "

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Glasgow stood up:
"Efter last year's conference ah went hame and telt ma man that I widnae dae his cookin, cleanin or shoppin and that he wid hiftae dae it himsel. Efter the first day ah saw nuthin'. Efter the second day ah saw nuthin'. But efter the third day I could see a wee bit oot o ma left eye.":D:D
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
A man rings rings up work one day:
"Sorry boss I cant make it to work today because im sick"

To which his boss asks:
"well how sick are you?"

To which the man replies:
"im in bed with my daughter!":rolling:
 

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Women in Glasgow are angry about the EU plan to ban smoking in pub doorways.





Now they can't even enjoy a cigarette after sex.
 

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At the 2004 World Womans conference the first speaker from Canada stood up:
"At last year's conference we spoke about being more assertive with our husbands. Well, after the conference I went home and told my husband that I would no longer cook for him and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had cooked a wonderful roast lamb. "

The crowd cheered.

The second speaker from England stood up:
"After last year's conference I went home and told my husband that would no longer do his laundry and that he would have to do it himself. After the first day I saw nothing. After the second day I saw nothing. But after the third day I saw that he had not only done his own washing but my washing as well. "

The crowd cheered.

The third speaker from Glasgow stood up:
"Efter last year's conference ah went hame and telt ma man that I widnae dae his cookin, cleanin or shoppin and that he wid hiftae dae it himsel. Efter the first day ah saw nuthin'. Efter the second day ah saw nuthin'. But efter the third day I could see a wee bit oot o ma left eye.":D:D
Class :rolling: :rolling: :rolling: :rolling:
 

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Just been to the gym for the 1st time in 2 years - they have a new machine I couldnt remember from before - I only used it for 20 minutes but I started feeling sick :(
It is a good machine though - its got kitkats, mars bars, snickers, mini cheddars and everything !!








Paddy and Murphy in the jungle on a Safari - whilst out they come accross a river and on the bank on the other side is a crododile with a man's head sticking out of it !

Paddy turns to Murphy and says:-

"To be sure, look at dat flash c*nt over there in his Lacoste sleeping bag !"





I started a new job on Monday with the Samaritans - I tried to call in sick today but the bas*ards talked me out of it !!!





Liverpool Airport was closed today for 8 hours due to a 'suspicious' car
-Apparently it was taxed and insured and still had the radio was still in it !!
 
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