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:p

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman and ordered a
glass of champagne.
The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of
champagne too!"
"What a coincidence,"the farmer says, "This is a special day for me, I'm
celebrating."
"This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!" says the woman.
"What a coincidence" says the man.
As they clinked glasses the farmer asked, "What are you celebrating?"
My husband and I have been trying for years to have a child, and today my
gynaecologist told me that I'm pregnant!"
"What a coincidence," says the man, "I'm a chicken farmer and for years all
my hens have been infertile, but today they're finally laying eggs."
"That's great!" says the woman, "How did your chickens become fertile?" "I
used a different cock," he replied.

The woman smiled and said, "What a coincidence." :rolling: :rolling: :rolling:
 

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Nice one Lloyd:rolling:

**Goes off looking for some jokes**

Al :spank:
 

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Joke

Hal and Frank had just finished laughing at Hal's gaffe with the waitress when Hal said, "That was some Freudian Slip!"

Frank, mystified, replied, "What do you mean?"

Hal explained:"It's when you mean to say something but your mind is distracted into saying what you're REALLY thinking. Let me give you an example - I once went to check into a fine hotel and the woman behind the counter was a beautiful blonde with rather large breasts. Instead of asking to rent a room for the night, what came out was - 'I'd like to rent your breasts for the night', how embarassing!"

The lightbulb went on for Frank and he shared, "Oh, I get it. I had something similar happen the other day at dinner with the wife and kids. I looked across the table at my wife and wanted to say 'pass the potatoes' but what came out was 'YOU RUINED MY LIFE BITCH!' "
 

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Reallistically or theoretically !!

A son asks his Dad - "whats the difference between theoretically and reallistically?"

Dad says "thats a tricky one, tell you what, go and ask your mum if she would sleep with the milkman for one million pounds"

Son asks his mum and she says "yes"

Dad says "now go and ask your sister if she wouild sleep with the paper man for two million pounds"

Son asks his sister and she says "yes"

"Well" says his Dad, "theoretically we're sitting on three million quid, but realistically we are living with two slags !!!!"
 

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That joke is a belter Kurtp:rolling::rolling:

I wasn't expecting that punchline:doh:

Al:)
 
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